420 ftw
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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