Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
