??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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