took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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