Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
