alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
