I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Randomize
