So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The air was thick with penises
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
