She said her name was "party"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
