That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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