Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He has the fingertips of a God
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize