I want to stick my p in your. b.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
