Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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