dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
