One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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