whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
