You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize