Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
