I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
