You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
