ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
