Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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