I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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