Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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