It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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