i was rollin on her like bob the builder
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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