i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
A bitchslap is in order.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
