my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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