u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
