I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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