i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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