you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
