I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I deserve this hangover.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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