whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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