You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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