# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
