I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
