you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
