You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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