i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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