I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
