I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
