Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
