i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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