I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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