I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
