I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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