all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize