omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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