yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
