The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize