90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
