so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
