I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
