btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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