nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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