I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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