What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize