yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize