Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
