I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
