I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
