I could have mohawked her pubes.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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