So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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