Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
