so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize